kenetics19's Xanga

THE REASON I BLOG

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:12:03 GMT

Time has passed me by, so are the words and ideas that entertained my mind.

It has been quite long, you may say, before I have updated my blog with any conclusive and rational post. Well, life has just got busier for me. My time has been eaten up by numerous tasks and labors that left me no choice but to, once in a while, stop.

But if you’re asking why I’m back, I’ll answer you with this: I rediscovered the reason why I pushed myself in doing this.

I have created my first account in Xanga not only because I want to experience blogging, but because I want to tell someone of my innermost thoughts. That was the time I lost my best friend (not because of death). There was a gap in our relationship as friends, and time made it grew wider. Therefore, I have lost someone that cares to listen to what I have to say. There was loneliness in my world, but I don’t want my ideas to rot inside my head. I want someone, or something, to listen…or at least read what I have to say. I want to continue expressing myself.

What led me in rediscovering it? Well, the story goes like this. I was so mad and furious yesterday that there was no way I can let it all out. I tried drowning myself, listening to music for hours. I slept, still with my headphones on. And when I woke up, I still feel tremendously the same. There, I saw a tiny pair of scissors at my table. I grabed it and started playing with it, thrusting it to my hands. Soon after, I was looking for my scissors (to those who do not know, it was bigger) and I continued doing the same thing. Call me stupid, or anything, but if you were in my place surely you’ll understand. I felt I existed in a world where no one cares to listen.

There I came to understand what being “emo” means (if I got it right); why do people like hurting themselves, and why they end up doing it. Mostly, in my clichés, I use to say that everything happens for a reason. Indeed, there is. Why people do this and that, why they choose to do it, and so on and so forth. There is something, no matter how small or big it is.

I have forgotten why I created this blog: I created it to express myself where I know no one is tasked or obliged to listen, only those who wants to. Also, I obliged myself in updating it in case there is someone (or something) that cares to read and listen to my weeps and exaltation.

Once in while, when we rest, we need to refresh our minds and ask ourselves “why I am doing such things?’. For in everything we do, there is a reason. And as I have learned from my retreat, the world would be miserable if one losses his sensibility and sense of reasoning.

(If you see some grammatical and spelling errors, please do correct me. Thanks.)

FIND YOURSELF A REST

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 11:20:39 GMT

A rest…all I’m wanting for since the start of my senior life, and I’m appreciating it now. Thanks to the storms that have devastated, passed, and gave the students a whole lot of time to rest.

Last night, I was in Eastwood celebrating Sheila Choi’s birthday. The cast won’t be complete without Marie, Regina, Rio, Tom, and Katrina Geronimo’s presence, the persons that waited for me. Sheila treated us at “Something Fishy”. Since I’m troubled with how much the whole meal costs, I took a peak in the check and it’s a whooping 2,701 ata (but surely it’s nearing 3 thousand). We were actually sixteen (including her), and I really thank her for the wonderful meal. The event wouldn’t be complete without Cyrus’ spectacular surprise, with unexpected background music. Indeed, I enjoyed the night. Thanks again, Sheila!

The night also has other stories, including: Karen’s long awaited ‘mango shake’, the boycott plan, the supposed tiangge trip (that didn’t pushed through), ang hipon ni Tom, the boyfriend matter, their picture taking with Yael, and the most intriguing of all…nearing the most controversial movie “A Love Story”, a big secret. Hahaha.

In the picture are all the things I’ve got from last night. I can’t capture the food inside my tummy, and I wasn’t able to bring any digi-cam or cellphone, so this is all I’ve got. There were pictures though, surely in Karen’s, Sheila’s, and Marie’s Multiply site. Since the three of us (Rio, Katrina, and me) went home earlier, I treat them with sticker photos. Just to spend my money…I know it looks stupid, but I want to have something that night. Luckily, I have spotted the machine earlier. I bought the Nerds there, nothing special. Lol.

Back to resting. It’s really good (well, the best) to have a rest from the hectic schedule of my student life. At least I’m not quitting…because it isn’t a hindrance for me, and I love those things I’m resting for a while. I don’t know why people kept on saying that I’m not giving my all to it, while actually I am! Let’s tackle the topic of ‘distribution’ in Economics. Distribution doesn’t mean that every factor has equal proportions, it means that each thing gets something. And that’s what I’m doing. Priorities; why shouldn’t I give priority to those that I have worked hard for?

Consistency is another matter. Resting isn’t in the range of consistency, quite true. But it helps people to regain their consistency. I hope the whole world knows that…why struggle or push yourself to the limits in working when you can rest. However, consistency in words is another matter, which I decided not to talk today. This is just anger, I know.

Tomorrow is a holiday. Also tomorrow shall be the last day of my vacation. August shall end in a matter of two weeks, and then we’re going to Baguio again. How time quickly passes by.

EGAY UNPREDICTABLE?

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:40:02 GMT

Maybe the rain expected yesterday came today…but if so, where’s the heavy rain expected? Can’t they describe ‘Egay’ consistently?

The fact that many are asking if the announcement of suspension [of classes] last Thursday was sensible or practical enough, the same goes this Friday. The rain wasn’t that hard in our place, but in others, I don’t know. If they’re expecting flood in Manila, what are they expecting in Rizal? But I’m not questioning the decision, I actually like it.

As you have seen, my blog has been evolving from its original, common form. I have seen other (more visited) blogs, and what fascinates me are picto-blogs (just coined the word from pictograph). I have planned it before, but due to lack of techies, I wasn’t able to pursue. Now, thanks to my N76 (again, I’m not boasting) I can do so. It may not be a Cybershot, but at least I can capture some. Lol. Soon readable if the uploading service of Xanga resumes.

How shall I spend the rainy days at home wisely? I can’t just sleep all day, and I can’t surf the net all day. Since I think that if I kept staring outside the window I’m wasting my time, I did some things…even the inspiration isn’t there. A little bit of dedication can push things through, and little by little I know it will grow. Another good way to spend the rainy vacation is to finish Harry Potter 7.

Supposedly, we have CAT tomorrow, completely in opposition to the suspension of classes. I admit it made me angry. Who wouldn’t? (My mother was also questioning the said matter). But prayers have its place in heaven, wishes can come true, and CAT is suspended tomorrow.

The coldness has brought chills throughout my body. It makes one sleepy, but I don’t think it makes one hungry. Yeah, I’m a pig once again. All I want is to sleep, then eat, then sleep, then eat again. Gee, this is vacation once again.

THE STORY OF SUSPENSION

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 11:11:57 GMT

Why did it take them ‘ten years’ before they let us go, before we were able to enjoy the current of the flood in the road in front Lorenzo? Why, o tell my why? (This is an idiomatic statement)

Well, the story of this entry shall be about the suspension story of the classes, our classes…of how we struggle and fought for freedom. (How patriotic, but nah, this isn’t about our country)

The day started with a rosary crusade because it is the Assumption of Mary. While doing so, it’s already raining outside. Then followed by classes, and the rain poured harder. During Math time, different reports/updates telling that classes in NCR are suspended already. That was also the start of cellphones being visible…and not confiscated. Then recess came and I wasn’t able to eat because of the fiasco outside. Mrs. Diolata was already announcing different names that she will end with the phrase: “Please come down, your fetcher is already here.” (I heard her said “Sir Arroyo, please come down.” Then it was blurry.)

Picture while everything is in chaos.

Some was fetched, but a lot remained (come on, we are certified gate-pass users) so we need to wait until twelve o’clock. Then I waited, and waited while listening to Mrs. Diolata’s voice in harmony with the rain. The twelve o’clock bell rang, and we ran outside. I was able to watch “Wowowee!”

This story tackles a moral that our generation’s instinct and gut feeling is strong, so strong it’s close to reality (well, almost). Alternatively, maybe it tells how true that we are encouraging suspension of classes. Ooooh baby it’s raining, raining.

With the rain, I’m having a hard time stabilizing my emotions or moods. I’m easily irritated by the activities done, by the people around me, and even by the slightest fault of my internet connection. I guess I’m just sleepy.

Anyways, Kokey is scary now. I like it (him, I think, is not applicable) more before, when I was small. Come on, won’t you agree with me?

SECOND DAY...DODONG'S WRATH

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:31:45 GMT

Currently, no rain is pouring. It is just the air sweeping the remnants of yesterday. At least now, they’re dry.

Surely, tomorrow there will be a class (which is I’m also wishing). There is a multitude of things, ranging from dreadful tasks to “I-love-to-do” things, which are needed to be done. Well, let the rain pour on Saturday…rephrase, let the typhoon come on Saturday.

Boredom is the same as before. It sucks. I may have the net to surf with, but with nothing to search or needed to be done. I may have my cell phone that is bombarded with load but with no one replying or even texting. Luckily, I have borrowed a Harry Potter 7 book to read. But I would prefer to sleep the day away.

The week shall end shortly. Friday would be a class day (I hope). Saturday is another tedious CAT training, but in the afternoon, we’re going to Thames. Oh, how I wish it went as planned …how I really wish (except the CAT, and I don’t want to raise the topic again).

Since there’s a chunk of free time, I just allot them for thinking of the dear future. I’m still worrying if I will pass the UPCAT, provided that my course choices are the “heavy ones”. Gee, if I’m already worrying only because of UPCAT, what about the others? (I know there are more complicated exams than this that we are destined to face)

I would want to return in creating background or deviants…otherwise known as doodling around Photoshop. I need to renew the background in Koro’s Friendster account and mine. I may have a lot of time to do, but if I lack the inspiration and idea, I would end up in nothing. Like in everything we do, we may have all the time but it isn’t just right. Like bodies that have the energy to move, but without direction (scientifically, speed without direction aren’t vectors).

SUSPENED '07-'08

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 23:46:24 GMT

Finally, after waiting for so long we have achieved it. The first suspended class for SY – 2007 – 2008.

And baby it’s raining, raining. I knew this day would come (sabik talaga), but hey it’s not only me who’s wishing for it. The whole world is (if you reclaim you are not included, then don’t be!).

While preparing for the trip, I have received Pomy’s text saying that classes are suspended. But since our service was there already, I still went to the school. Just for a change…well, a heck of it. I just don’t want to stay at home bored. I want to do something, besides from surfing the net. I want to go to somewhere, adventure. That is the effect of the weather today; I’m on the wild side.

Yesterday afternoon, we’ve heard a chunk of things floating in the air; mostly from St. Paul. Well, not only the air but also other issues as well (shake your booty!). While waiting for the varsity to finish, Gail and I constituted the laws of tsismoso. We’ve only done five, and we’ll continue to create more. Would you mind if I post it here?

1. Walang tsismis na maganda (There is no beautiful gossip )

2. Close friends ang mga tsismoso (All gossipers are close friends)

3. May degree ang tsismis, from first, second, up to the very end (Gossips have degrees, from the first, second, up to the very end)

4. Huwag bibitinin ang tsismoso (Do not give unfinished gossips) --- Gail always violates this rule. Hahaha.

5. Favorite sport/hobby ng mga tsismoso ang “pass the message” (Gossipers favorite sport/hobby is playing “pass the message”)

In conclusion, all are gossipers in their own way (even in the smallest way). We have to accept that fact. This is just a reality check to those out there playing what they call the “innocent role”.

Looks like I’m missing the essence of writing in my blog. I’ve been too secretive these days. I like more to keep all the things within me, because if I let it out the nature of gossip comes in (nature?). Or maybe I just think that no one cares to listen about a lunatic’s emotion or feelings.

Communication is part of human beings’ social interaction. If it wasn’t developed, the children would not know the roles expected from/out/in/of them. (Just choose what you think is the appropriate word: from, out, in, or of)

THE "T" IN UPCAT

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 11:50:03 GMT

UPCAT daze has been over. Well, another stage is on…NCAE.

When I set off at our room in the College of Business Administration, happiness came like a wind and made a mark at my face. Gee, can’t stop smiling outside, while in the car looking at the lines formed again. The same lines I was early that Saturday morning. Inspiration…thanks for those who prayed for me, and Ate Michelle’s teachings. Well, I did my best and how I wish my best could put me to UP.

In the past, I have told that I have a like to movies: not only by watching them, but also by being part of them. Cinemalaya is now on its third year, with new offers of indie films (I don’t know if they are the ones responsible for “Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros”). In addition, I admit it the new releases are awesome. The one that really got my attention is ‘Pisay’ by Auraeus Solito. It is a story of students in the Philippine Science High School during the Marcos era. Even just by watching the trailer, I was captivated and still wanting more. Bad thing is that I don’t know if they shall release DVD copies (like “Pagdadalaga”).

I intentionally made the first two paragraphs for they have connection. Maybe you’re asking now what the heck is that connection. While taking the UPCAT I remembered how I was before I entered my high school. I took different admission tests, actually only two. One at UST, and another was at Manila Science High School. I wasn’t able to took one at Philippine Science because I was late. Anyways, my mother told me I passed the UST, which I also believed in because I have been called for the interview. Well, other else is history. And why I didn’t enter UST even I did passed, it’s between me and Shelly

I’m still wondering if I entered UST for high school, what shall have I become? Will I be the same Kenneth everybody knows (obviously, not)? All those questions remained unanswered; come on I’m not the time keeper in “Sana Maulit Muli.”

Anyways, I am free once again. Finally, I’m resuming to editing the remaining pictures from “Tunog Kusina” last July 7. I could surf the net again. I could post anything again. I could chat again; check my various accounts, etc. As I have read from UPCAT’s reading comprehension, “All the sacrifices we make shall be rewarded afterwards.” (However, I’m currently suffering slow internet connection)

I wasn’t able to register to SK during the previous days because my mother didn’t allowed me last Friday. Last Saturday I was taking the UPCAT. Then, just this morning, I saw in the papers that the registration is already closed!

Afterall, what happens happens. Summary: destiny. (Does my post makes any sense?)

EXPELLIARMUS!

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 11:20:10 GMT

“Must be mature…Expelliarmus!”

The spell had been cast, and almost everyone has found the antidote. Poor me, I haven’t watched the latest sequel of Harry Potter. I haven’t able to see Transformers, then Harry Potter came, then The Simpsons will follow! Gee, really need to rush to the movie house.

The week has elevated to ways that are more convenient. My supposedly free time has been allotted to my tambayan moments, house raids, and surfing the net. Ah, freedom at last…but I know it will not last long. I’m currently grounded (hmm, not sure with the usage of the word), must be at home before six pmI must get home before 6 pm. UPCAT is nearing, like a wild beast waiting swallow me whole. Confused…oooh, anxiety. Studying habits are done at the best ways ever; therefore, this week is convenient. (Weekends are just always filled with assignments)

Currently I’m indulging my new phone. I’m not boasting!

My head still hurts from numerous times the rifle fall above my head. My arms still has the bruises simply from the rotation of the rifle. My skin now is darker. Now, how can someone give dedication to something demanding? I should have attended the Worship. From what I have heard, we’ll be having a retreat. Hooray!

I have finally finished my whole ACET admission form. I’m finally done with my essay that I don’t know if really hits the topic. But in doing that essay, I have realized my faults at some time. I have also accepted the real reasons behind things. I mean, people sometimes deny reasons why things happen. They can’t just accept the fact that they’re wrong, and I’m one of them. At least that essay is worth a thousand realizations I can’t get from reading Paulo Coelho’s books. (How bad of me in blaming his books, tsk tsk tsk) I mean, you can’t read your name there and expect that you’re whole life is being retold in the book. You must understand what I’m saying or else you’ll die…Expelliarmus!

Speaking of, I have read the Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollows. Well, the ending part only. Now I can say that what I have heard isn’t true (screw those false news from the internet). Well, I didn’t really understand the last part so I’m just waiting for the price of the book to decrease.

Got to go already, my hand-outs are waiting for me. (I think this post is just irrelevant…I’m just losing my sanity. Expelliarmus!)

DEMANDS

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 13:27:26 GMT

The best things in life are free…better things are less (or not) demanding.

Last time I talked about freedom and possessiveness, this time it’s about “demanding”. Still, same matters float the intriguing cycle of my life (maybe not only mine). Like any equations, equal sign connotes balance. What the other gets must have the opposite…and this time, we’ll make it sure it’s the same. We’re tired already, and sometimes it pushes us to do things others may call foolish.

High school life is still the same…ah, rephrase, is getting better. Finally, we’re getting our wishes of daily dose of free time. There were fewer assignments, but hundred projects are needed to be submitted. Well, at least it is still equal.

“Leadership…demands a lot of sacrifices.” That’s my line. But sometimes, as I have said before, you must not give to these sacrifices. There are things to fight for…or else you’ll leave high school as a person with less experience outside the four walls of the room. I’ve had the realization, next is fulfillment.

We can’t be ourselves like yesterday, for every time we change. I can’t be the same passive person who always follow what everybody says, believes in what everybody comments. Oppose the currents of the minds of everyone; create a personality that is mine.

Quitting won’t be the same as saying one’s a loser. It is also a way of fighting. When you can’t take the madness of the world, will you still continue to fight? When you’re doing something yet you’re losing everything, won’t you quit (for losing everything is the same as losing all that you’ve work hard for)? Things do change, to be better or worse. It can be your stepping-stone, a free transport, or even a hindrance.

Examinations are nearing. College entrance tests are near. Southville Olympiad are just weeks nearer. Worst thing is that I can’t study. Told you, there is the choice of quitting when a thing has transformed to be a hindrance. Unless, if you could drill your way out that hindrance wall…thru demands.

POSSESSIVENESS

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 07:25:17 GMT

Things you come to meet will surely have their own end…it is only a matter of when and how.

I know how my posts are entirely related to each other, like a fad waiting to be diminished. Therefore, I can say I write too predictable. I, myself, admit that it is boring sometimes…just like when we face same problems all the time.

I want to be just a normal citizen. CAT (officers’) has become from something I once poured a passion to now one you’ll learn to hate with. Truly, after almost three years in the training I have seen every page of the story…praised, acclaimed, and criticized. I used to be determined, I used to be happy and contented…all are just “I used”, past tense. Now, another story will come up, another page to make or break the whole organization itself. Possessiveness could bring a whole lot of trouble.

As a senior, I’m still buried to numerous works. Also part of being a senior, I must also spend the year with my friends; doing all the social activities, I can attend. Why? Maybe this could be the last time I can spend with these people. The same as the realization I have during the summer break, the last summer as a high school student. Part of those social activities I’m telling of is Kevin’s and Angelo’s birthday. It’s better to spend your Saturdays to happier times than be strangled to death because of possessiveness (I’ll bring up this matter again and again until the end of this entry).

I’m nearing the edge…if I fall, what shall I get? Ah! Freedom!

Once again, to those with relationships, don’t tolerate the trait of possessiveness. Don’t let them own you, nor even let you choose because as Majo have said, “Why do I have or need to choose? They’re two different things.”