THE REASON I BLOG

Time has passed me by, so are the words and ideas that entertained my mind.

     It has been quite long, you may say, before I have updated my blog with any conclusive and rational post. Well, life has just got busier for me. My time has been eaten up by numerous tasks and labors that left me no choice but to, once in a while, stop.

     But if you’re asking why I’m back, I’ll answer you with this: I rediscovered the reason why I pushed myself in doing this.

     I have created my first account in Xanga not only because I want to experience blogging, but because I want to tell someone of my innermost thoughts. That was the time I lost my best friend (not because of death). There was a gap in our relationship as friends, and time made it grew wider. Therefore, I have lost someone that cares to listen to what I have to say. There was loneliness in my world, but I don’t want my ideas to rot inside my head. I want someone, or something, to listen…or at least read what I have to say. I want to continue expressing myself.

     What led me in rediscovering it? Well, the story goes like this. I was so mad and furious yesterday that there was no way I can let it all out. I tried drowning myself, listening to music for hours. I slept, still with my headphones on. And when I woke up, I still feel tremendously the same. There, I saw a tiny pair of scissors at my table. I grabed it and started playing with it, thrusting it to my hands. Soon after, I was looking for my scissors (to those who do not know, it was bigger) and I continued doing the same thing. Call me stupid, or anything, but if you were in my place surely you’ll understand. I felt I existed in a world where no one cares to listen.

     There I came to understand what being “emo” means (if I got it right); why do people like hurting themselves, and why they end up doing it. Mostly, in my clichés, I use to say that everything happens for a reason. Indeed, there is. Why people do this and that, why they choose to do it, and so on and so forth. There is something, no matter how small or big it is.

     I have forgotten why I created this blog: I created it to express myself where I know no one is tasked or obliged to listen, only those who wants to. Also, I obliged myself in updating it in case there is someone (or something) that cares to read and listen to my weeps and exaltation.

     Once in while, when we rest, we need to refresh our minds and ask ourselves “why I am doing such things?’. For in everything we do, there is a reason. And as I have learned from my retreat, the world would be miserable if one losses his sensibility and sense of reasoning.

(If you see some grammatical and spelling errors, please do correct me. Thanks.)

Currently Reading Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking By Malcolm Gladwell see related

FIND YOURSELF A REST

A rest…all I’m wanting for since the start of my senior life, and I’m appreciating it now. Thanks to the storms that have devastated, passed, and gave the students a whole lot of time to rest.

            Last night, I was in Eastwood celebrating Sheila Choi’s birthday. The cast won’t be complete without Marie, Regina, Rio, Tom, and Katrina Geronimo’s presence, the persons that waited for me. Sheila treated us at “Something Fishy”. Since I’m troubled with how much the whole meal costs, I took a peak in the check and it’s a whooping 2,701 ata (but surely it’s nearing 3 thousand). We were actually sixteen (including her), and I really thank her for the wonderful meal. The event wouldn’t be complete without Cyrus’ spectacular surprise, with unexpected background music. Indeed, I enjoyed the night. Thanks again, Sheila!

            The night also has other stories, including: Karen’s long awaited ‘mango shake’, the boycott plan, the supposed tiangge trip (that didn’t pushed through), ang hipon ni Tom, the boyfriend matter, their picture taking with Yael, and the most intriguing of all…nearing the most controversial movie “A Love Story”, a big secret. Hahaha.

            In the picture are all the things I’ve got from last night. I can’t capture the food inside my tummy, and I wasn’t able to bring any digi-cam or cellphone, so this is all I’ve got. There were pictures though, surely in Karen’s, Sheila’s, and Marie’s Multiply site. Since the three of us (Rio, Katrina, and me) went home earlier, I treat them with sticker photos. Just to spend my money…I know it looks stupid, but I want to have something that night. Luckily, I have spotted the machine earlier. I bought the Nerds there, nothing special. Lol.

            Back to resting. It’s really good (well, the best) to have a rest from the hectic schedule of my student life. At least I’m not quitting…because it isn’t a hindrance for me, and I love those things I’m resting for a while. I don’t know why people kept on saying that I’m not giving my all to it, while actually I am! Let’s tackle the topic of ‘distribution’ in Economics. Distribution doesn’t mean that every factor has equal proportions, it means that each thing gets something. And that’s what I’m doing. Priorities; why shouldn’t I give priority to those that I have worked hard for?

            Consistency is another matter. Resting isn’t in the range of consistency, quite true. But it helps people to regain their consistency. I hope the whole world knows that…why struggle or push yourself to the limits in working when you can rest. However, consistency in words is another matter, which I decided not to talk today. This is just anger, I know.

            Tomorrow is a holiday. Also tomorrow shall be the last day of my vacation. August shall end in a matter of two weeks, and then we’re going to Baguio again. How time quickly passes by.

EGAY UNPREDICTABLE?

Maybe the rain expected yesterday came today…but if so, where’s the heavy rain expected? Can’t they describe ‘Egay’ consistently?

            The fact that many are asking if the announcement of suspension [of classes] last Thursday was sensible or practical enough, the same goes this Friday. The rain wasn’t that hard in our place, but in others, I don’t know. If they’re expecting flood in Manila, what are they expecting in Rizal? But I’m not questioning the decision, I actually like it.

            As you have seen, my blog has been evolving from its original, common form. I have seen other (more visited) blogs, and what fascinates me are picto-blogs (just coined the word from pictograph). I have planned it before, but due to lack of techies, I wasn’t able to pursue. Now, thanks to my N76 (again, I’m not boasting) I can do so. It may not be a Cybershot, but at least I can capture some. Lol. Soon readable if the uploading service of Xanga resumes.

            How shall I spend the rainy days at home wisely? I can’t just sleep all day, and I can’t surf the net all day. Since I think that if I kept staring outside the window I’m wasting my time, I did some things…even the inspiration isn’t there. A little bit of dedication can push things through, and little by little I know it will grow. Another good way to spend the rainy vacation is to finish Harry Potter 7.

            Supposedly, we have CAT tomorrow, completely in opposition to the suspension of classes. I admit it made me angry. Who wouldn’t? (My mother was also questioning the said matter). But prayers have its place in heaven, wishes can come true, and CAT is suspended tomorrow.

            The coldness has brought chills throughout my body. It makes one sleepy, but I don’t think it makes one hungry. Yeah, I’m a pig once again. All I want is to sleep, then eat, then sleep, then eat again. Gee, this is vacation once again.

THE STORY OF SUSPENSION

Why did it take them ‘ten years’ before they let us go, before we were able to enjoy the current of the flood in the road in front Lorenzo? Why, o tell my why? (This is an idiomatic statement)

            Well, the story of this entry shall be about the suspension story of the classes, our classes…of how we struggle and fought for freedom. (How patriotic, but nah, this isn’t about our country) 

            The day started with a rosary crusade because it is the Assumption of Mary. While doing so, it’s already raining outside. Then followed by classes, and the rain poured harder. During Math time, different reports/updates telling that classes in NCR are suspended already. That was also the start of cellphones being visible…and not confiscated. Then recess came and I wasn’t able to eat because of the fiasco outside. Mrs. Diolata was already announcing different names that she will end with the phrase: “Please come down, your fetcher is already here.” (I heard her said “Sir Arroyo, please come down.” Then it was blurry.)

 Picture while everything is in chaos.

            Some was fetched, but a lot remained (come on, we are certified gate-pass users) so we need to wait until twelve o’clock. Then I waited, and waited while listening to Mrs. Diolata’s voice in harmony with the rain. The twelve o’clock bell rang, and we ran outside. I was able to watch “Wowowee!” 

            This story tackles a moral that our generation’s instinct and gut feeling is strong, so strong it’s close to reality (well, almost). Alternatively, maybe it tells how true that we are encouraging suspension of classes. Ooooh baby it’s raining, raining.

            With the rain, I’m having a hard time stabilizing my emotions or moods. I’m easily irritated by the activities done, by the people around me, and even by the slightest fault of my internet connection. I guess I’m just sleepy. 

            Anyways, Kokey is scary now. I like it (him, I think, is not applicable) more before, when I was small. Come on, won’t you agree with me?

SECOND DAY...DODONG'S WRATH

Currently, no rain is pouring. It is just the air sweeping the remnants of yesterday. At least now, they’re dry.

            Surely, tomorrow there will be a class (which is I’m also wishing).  There is a multitude of things, ranging from dreadful tasks to “I-love-to-do” things, which are needed to be done. Well, let the rain pour on Saturday…rephrase, let the typhoon come on Saturday.

            Boredom is the same as before. It sucks. I may have the net to surf with, but with nothing to search or needed to be done.  I may have my cell phone that is bombarded with load but with no one replying or even texting. Luckily, I have borrowed a Harry Potter 7 book to read. But I would prefer to sleep the day away.

            The week shall end shortly. Friday would be a class day (I hope). Saturday is another tedious CAT training, but in the afternoon, we’re going to Thames. Oh, how I wish it went as planned …how I really wish (except the CAT, and I don’t want to raise the topic again).

            Since there’s a chunk of free time, I just allot them for thinking of the dear future. I’m still worrying if I will pass the UPCAT, provided that my course choices are the “heavy ones”. Gee, if I’m already worrying only because of UPCAT, what about the others? (I know there are more complicated exams than this that we are destined to face)

            I would want to return in creating background or deviants…otherwise known as doodling around Photoshop. I need to renew the background in Koro’s Friendster account and mine. I may have a lot of time to do, but if I lack the inspiration and idea, I would end up in nothing. Like in everything we do, we may have all the time but it isn’t just right. Like bodies that have the energy to move, but without direction (scientifically, speed without direction aren’t vectors).